Yesterday I woke up and suddenly missed the days when I would write snarky pieces for magazines like Preview and Pulp. Articles with titles like "Where Are They Now?" that went on to guess what happened to has-been local celebs. All of the conclusions based purely on imagination. (I remember saying Lovely Rivero now owns a turo-turo and that some other That's Entertainment alum became the purple Teletubby). But I digress.
I got to work feeling my fingers itching to type away. What I came up with was
this. Today I present Part 2:
6.
The following words/phrases: stuffs, taken cared of, reduce and mense.
Stuffs because it isn't a word. There is no plural for stuff. It is a collective noun. Deal with it. Where were you when they were teaching this in grade school? Probably doing some other stuffs...
Taken cared of is also wrong. Just the sound of it is wrong. Say it out loud right now. No, now. Di ba? Didn't that sound wrong to you? Well it should because it is. Go to a bookstore now and check out Elements of Style. The intelligent explanation is in there somewhere. And while you're there, get yourself a nice book for the long weekend, maybe a Halloween card you can send to a relative and some other stuffs.
Reduce I hate only because I don't like the sound of the word. Reduce in the context of "Pumayat ka, nag-reduce ka ba?" (Pronounced re-juice). I don't mind when it's "Reduce the orange sauce over a low heat" or similar stuffs.
7.
The ETC and 2nd Avenue plugs.
Exhibit A: "Let all your special occassion begin with us." (silent "s")
Exhbit B: "It's an ETC extravagance!" (silent "za")
I remember telling my friend Pat that I dont usually make fun of bad grammar. It isn't someone's fault that they got a crappy public education because our government can't afford to pay good teachers.
It pisses me off though to see bad grammar being used by those working in an industry where good grammar should be a pre-requisite. It's your JOB to write properly... do it. These plugs are exactly what I meant. And these are the old ones. The new ones are even better (worse).
8.
People who can't write but get published anyway.
Sometimes it is a family connection. Sometimes it is their celebrity status. And sometimes it's because of an EIC that sucks just as hard as the writers they pay.
In that same light, I also really hate sloppy copy editing. A few years back a broadsheet published lenten recipes under a headline that read "Three great salmon dishes." The first recipe then went on to list tuna as the main ingredient. Ang saya saya!!!
I may be a bitch but I'm not stupid so I wont go into details or drop names. Not if I want to keep freelancing in this industry. Heehee.
9.
Parents and yayas that let bratty kids run around in public places.
You see them everywhere. Ankle biters careening around malls and restuarants, screaming at the top of their tiny lungs completely unattended. In a word? Hassle.
If you can't keep them under control or at the very least within reach of your guidance, don't lug them around. If it can't be helped that they are with you, then make sure they aren't wandering off being a nuisance to the public. There are policies about pets... similar regulations should be instituted for children.
A friend of mine once told me that she has this fantasy of taking stray children by the hand and leading them off to another section of the mall. And I will admit that there have been numerous moments when I've thought of sticking my foot out and tripping one of these unruly kids. Neither one of us ever will act on these daydreams. At least, not yet.
10.
Chicks who wear make-up to "work out" at the gym.
I see them all the time. They spend more time in front of the mirror in the locker room than they do on the treadmill. I have never seen one break a sweat. And yet, there they are, paying their monthly dues and parading around in designer tracksuits... faces glowing from bronzer and strategically placed blush. Annoying!!!
All for now. Have a lovely weekend boys and girls!
